Sunday, March 2, 2008

Embrace the Fear

Conclusion

Scary, isn’t it? Now maybe one can understand somewhat the dilemma I face. I am a woman living in fear, confined within the walls of an entire world filled with potential, excitement and adventure. I have been entrusted with three small, extremely adorable individuals in this world, to guide, shape, feed, hold, nurture, lead, feed, encourage, support, cherish, cheer-on, protect, enjoy, teach, and of course feed; and all at the same time, love unconditionally. But in reality it has been the other way around. They are my example. They teach me more in a single day than I would ever hope to teach them in a lifetime. They are my biggest fans and are there to cheer me on and encourage me every step of the way. And when I mess-up or just feel down, they are there, not to dwell on my mistakes but to love me. They are there to wrap their perfect arms around me and assure me that I am “the best mom in the world.” How can I ever live up to them? That is my biggest fear. I am a small spec caught in the vacuum created behind the speeding train that is my three brilliant boys; I am so lucky to be along for the ride.

In the end, I believe it is ok to be a little afraid, in the words of my loving husband, "embrace the fear." Life isn’t easy. Anyone claiming it is, I guarantee, is missing out on a big part of the adventure.

2 comments:

Lindsay said...

I know how your boys are your world...you're a great mom to your three boys! They love you tons....its easy to see!

Charmaine Anderson said...

Oh, the wonder of fresh perspective. I wrote about the birth of my children after age
50. They don't have the clarity and sentiment of yours. Better late than never but I wish I would have started at your age.